


I Will Never Leave You

by LegolasLovely



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Battle of Five Armies, Post-Quest of Erebor, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:48:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21523327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LegolasLovely/pseuds/LegolasLovely
Summary: (Y/N) has been plagued by nightmares since the Battle of the Five Armies. Though all are safe, on this night, she dreams her husband, Fili, is not.
Relationships: Fíli (Tolkien)/Reader, Fíli (Tolkien)/You
Comments: 5
Kudos: 68





	I Will Never Leave You

**Author's Note:**

> I know there are a million of these stories out there but I had to write one of my own after my total breakdown last week when I couldn’t escape Fili’s death scene on my computer. This is a little rough in the beginning but it ends in sweet Fi comfort. Hope you guys can relate and enjoy.  
> {Warnings: DANGER FOR ANGST HATERS, this has a pretty rough nightmare in it, blood and gore, sad sad sad, but ends in comfort and fluff from both Fili and Kili}

_Everything was cold. Cold, frozen, white, snow. Your body trembled, shivered, and you looked around for something familiar. You found nothing. There was nothing. Nothing but cold, frozen, white snow._

_Then, sudden warmth. Your fingers were hot and wet. You looked down to see the snow painted red. The color was dripping from your hands, staining your skin and clothes. What is-_

_“It hurts, amrâlimê.”_

_Your vision blurred as the world rushed around you, fighting, defending, assisting, screaming, dying. The only clarity was brought by his voice._

_“Help me, amrâlimê.”_

_Under your hands was a gushing, painful, deadly wound. You held pressure, trying to stop the leaking, but blood pooled in the cold, frozen, white snow. A whimper fell from your lips. You weren’t able to help the one below you. Who was it?_

_“I-I need something, something to bind the wound,” you said. Your voice didn’t reach the one in anguish, it was taken by the floating wind. “You’ll be all right,” you tried to say._

_“Please, amrâlimê.”_

_Then the injured came into focus. First, the blond hair that fanned out over the cold, frozen, white snow. You recognized the beads at the ends of the braids as your own. The etched runes were caked with blood. Next, the armor over his shoulders came into view. It was pierced down the middle. Then the face. The features were twisted in such agony, the once bright eyes fading, the ever present smile non-existent, the dimples painted red._

_“Fili.”_

_“I’m dying, amrâlimê.”_

_“No.”_

_Your eyes flew to the wound, desperate to find some way to stop the bleeding, but it was nowhere to be found, though the puddle of red around you was only growing. You unfastened his armor, throwing it to the side and tore open his tunic and saw nothing. But Fili still groaned and writhed under your hands. “I-I can’t help you,” you said._

_“It hurts, amrâlimê. Help me, amrâlimê. Please, amrâlimê. I’m dying, amrâlimê.”_

_“No. Stop- stop saying that. You’re going to be all right.”_

_You wiped the blood from his face, but more appeared. You looked around frantically for help but everything had disappeared. There was only cold, frozen, white snow, you and Fili._

_Then black. An all-encompassing black started enclosing around him, taking first his feet, then his legs, torso and chest. “Fili. Fili, stop. Where-where are you going? Look at me. Fili? Fili!”_

_“Amrâlimê.”_

_The black closed around his face, taking him from you forever. “Fi. Fili! Fili!”_

“Amrâlimê, wake up. Wake up, (Y/N). It’s all right. Look at me.”

You woke with a jolt. You were trembling and your stomach lurched as you opened your eyes that were blurred with tears. Fili was sitting above you, he’d pulled you into his arms as you slept and screamed his name for the mountain to hear. You sat up and stared at him, holding onto his arms with a bruising grip.

No braids. Warm eyes. Soft dimples. No blood.

“It’s all right, amrâlimê. It was just another-” His voice caught in his throat as you crumbled in his arms. Your hands covered your face in shame as you shook from the force of your sobs. He knew how you felt- that you knew better, that it was indeed just a dream. But the nightmares were too real after the quest. And they’d been plaguing you for months.

He separated his legs and placed you between them, pulling you against his chest. Finally, you opened up to him, wrapping your arms around him and hiding your hot, wet face in the crook of his neck.

“It was just a dream, amrâlimê. Everything’s fine.”

You gasped and your voice shook. Your grip tightened on him and he imagined what your demons had made you see. He wondered if your nightmares were similar to Kili’s. He hoped not. Kili always told him of his terrors in great detail, it was the only way he’d dispel them from his thoughts. You, however, never shared too much with him, as if talking about it would bring the danger back.

When you’d calmed just a bit he asked, “Was it the battle again?”

“It was so _real._ I…oh, it was so awful, Fili. I couldn’t- I couldn’t help you.”

You spiraled again, weeping desperately. He hushed you, running his fingers through your hair and down your back. He listened to you try and fail to match the rhythm of his breathing. This meant, you’d dreamed he’d died. Again. He pulled you closer. Of course he wished he’d never been attacked in the battle, he didn’t need the pain and the scar of reminder. But he especially wished that you and Kili didn’t have to witness it. He wanted so badly to protect you both from it. But he was failing.

“I’m all right, amrâlimê. It wasn’t real,” he said to you when you couldn’t shake the pain and fear you were feeling. Every time you cried like this, it was as if another crack in his heart broke through. It was torture, he thought selfishly. He leaned his cheek on your head. “I will never leave you.” His voice fell away as he felt his own tears skid down his cheeks.

You noticed his shaky inhale and left the safe place at his neck to look at him. You shook your head and wiped the tears from his cheeks. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. You didn’t want to bring him into your pain.

He kissed your hand as it passed his lips. “I’m sorry too. We’ll get through this, amrâlimê. We’ll get through these nightmares, to a time where they’ll be only memories.”

You nodded and kissed him. “I love you, Fi.”

“And I, you. With all my heart,” he said, hugging you tight to him.

When you finally calmed and met him breath for calm, serene breath, you drew away and found the scar on his left side. There it was. You ran a finger over it. He was attacked, but you _were_ able to help him. He was safe and healthy and yours.

He wiped the tears falling swiftly down your cheeks and something on the bed side table caught your eye. A small glass jar you’d never seen before. You reached over Fili and took it. “What is this?”

Fili sat up against the headboard of the bed and ran a hand down your back. “Kili brought it.”

“When?”

“You didn’t see, but he came in, arrow nocked when he heard you crying out. When he realized it was a dream that distressed you, he brought this. There’s a note here,” Fili said, picking up a small piece of paper from the table you hadn’t seen. He gave it to you to read.

_My dear sister,_

_The smell of hyacinth helps keep the nightmares at bay._

_Sweet dreams,_

_Love Ki_

You huffed, always blown away by Kili’s sweet gestures. Unscrewing the jar allowed the sweet, clean scent of the flower petals to fill your senses. The glass vial was filled to the brim with purple and white circles, freshly picked from the royal gardens. “So, this is why he asked for hyacinths to be planted in the gardens,” you said.

Fili hummed, taking a whiff himself.

“I’ll thank him in the morning,” you said, placing the note and the jar in their spot on the table and gluing yourself to Fili once more.

He kissed your forehead. “Tired?” he asked.

“No. I think I’m awake now for at least a small bit.”

“In that case,” he said, reaching for the drawer of the table and grabbing the book he’d been reading to you after your previous terror. “Where did we leave off?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
